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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28721592">It's the Hap-Happiest Season of All</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliLamba/pseuds/AliLamba'>AliLamba</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gundam Wing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Holidays, Humor, Mistletoe, Office Party</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:15:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,140</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28721592</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliLamba/pseuds/AliLamba</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Heero can’t remember a time when he <em>wasn’t</em> in love with Relena Darlian-Peacecraft.</p><p>It’s not like he consciously thinks to be in love with her, because, she is way out of his league, for one, and they definitely work together, for another, and there are so many adages about not mixing work and romance that honestly there should be more of a greeting card section for idiots just like him.</p><p>-or-</p><p>Heero has bad ideas and his friends have worse ones.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Relena Peacecraft/Heero Yuy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Gundam Wing Holiday Matters 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It's the Hap-Happiest Season of All</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thanks to cookami for going beta on this &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Heero can’t remember a time when he <em>wasn’t</em> in love with Relena Darlian-Peacecraft.</p><p>It’s not like he consciously thinks to be in love with her, because, she is way out of his league, for one, and they definitely work together, for another, and there are so many adages about not mixing work and romance that honestly there should be more of a greeting card section for idiots just like him.</p><p>But he just can’t <em>help it</em>, is all.</p><p>“At this point it’s just getting sad,” Dorothy drawls, from her neighboring cubicle. Relena has just stopped by to say good morning and Heero is still trying to stop staring after her. What perfume was that? It smelled new.</p><p>“Shut up,” he gripes, pulling up his headphones. Dorothy stands so she can be seen again. She's wearing a sweater decorated with little knit mistletoes a bit too low to be strictly professional.</p><p><em>Sad</em>, she mouths, with vicious delight. </p><p>Heero glares at her and tries to open up his latest project. It takes a moment to realize that Dorothy hasn’t moved away all at once. </p><p>“What,” he snaps, pulling the headphones off. It’s just the beginning of the work day, everyone is shuffling through their morning routines, so there’s enough crosstalk that they aren’t in serious danger of being overheard. Dorothy is staring at him, very <em>I know something you don’t know</em>.</p><p>“It’s because you’re single.”</p><p>Heero’s gaze narrows. “Because I’m what?”</p><p>“Single. Everyone knows you’re single. God <em>everyone in this office definitely knows </em>you’re single. But that’s why Relena won’t engage with you. She got burned by the last person around here who thought they had a shot with her, so now she avoids people she’s worried will…recreate the awkwardness.”</p><p>Heero’s pretty sure he’s <em>glowering</em>, now, but it is the weakest fucking <em>glower</em> on the planet because..he is genuinely interested.</p><p>“And you know this...how, exactly.”</p><p>Dorothy straightens. “Why do you think HR has me on speed dial,” she sighs, and she disappears behind her tiny wall.</p><p> </p><p>Heero tries really hard not to think about that over the next few hours, honestly. For one, he generally thinks Dorothy is full of shit, and for another, he’s been working there for two years; his chances of having a breakthrough with Relena are slim to none at this point. He was just coming around to the idea of probably <em>not</em> being in love with her, probably, one of these days, because then he could finally fucking just download one of those fucking dating apps already, except that he really honest to god hates the fuckery of modern flirting via text.</p><p>It is just so fucking <em>inane</em>, honestly. And he honestly just isn’t used to trying so hard. Partners just happen to always be...around, actually. For his whole life he could reliably just honestly <em>wait</em>, and eventually someone would be leaning too heavily into his space, flashing their smile, and it would just be...just be so fucking <em>easy</em>.</p><p>Heero scrubs his face at his desk, tapping his foot, realizing that he hasn’t done any fucking work in twenty minutes. His phone lights up, and Heero checks it.</p><p>
  <em>&lt;Lunch?&gt;</em>
</p><p>Fuck, he needs to get out of his chair. &lt;<em>Yeah,</em>&gt; he texts back, already grabbing his coat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Whoa what’s up with you?” Duo asks, and Heero’s glare flashes from his burrito.</p><p>“What.”</p><p>Duo frowns at him.</p><p>“Nothing,” Heero answers, attacking his burrito again, just inhaling two quick, giant mouthfuls. He’s chewing specifically so he doesn’t have to talk. So he doesn’t have to think. So he doesn’t have to...fuck he’s going to run out of burrito.</p><p>Heero sighs through his nose, swallows, wipes his face with his sleeve, and puts the rest of the tube of food down.</p><p>“I have...a problem.”</p><p>“A problem?”</p><p>Heero looks up at his friend. He pushes his hand into his bangs, closing his eyes, covering half of his face with his palm. Shit.</p><p>“No, I have a solution, but, it’s a fucking problem.”</p><p>Duo’s still staring at him. “You lost me.” </p><p>Heero cracks an eye. </p><p>“Oh.” Duo rounds his eyes at his own plate. “This would probably have something to do with <em>Relena</em>, wouldn’t it.”</p><p>Heero doesn’t respond. He doesn’t need to. He might as well have hired a high school band to parade<em>YES</em> through the tiny restaurant.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“You’re not ready to give that shit up yet? It’s been what - two years?”</p><p>“…Something like that.”</p><p>“I’m just saying. She’s great, I guess, but she’s not like...I dunno. She’s not <em>that great.</em>”</p><p>Heero clenches his jaw. Duo is one of his only friends, and certainly the only friend whom he could actually talk to about something like fucking - <em>this</em>. So he probably can’t get away with punching him in the fucking mouth.</p><p>“Well I’m not ready to give up yet.”</p><p>“If you say so.”</p><p>Heero’s still working his jaw when Duo looks up. And then when Duo does a double take. “What? You’re - you’re serious? Jeez man, give it a rest! Hilde has like, freaking <em>a dozen</em> hot friends. And some of them are straight!”</p><p>“It’s not - just - <em>fuck</em>, just - you haven’t heard my fucking plan yet.”</p><p>Duo props a fist on his thigh. He’s frowning, a bit, but he’s <em>listening</em>, so. Heero takes a quick breath.</p><p>“I need you to be my boyfriend.”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>All things considered, Heero didn't maybe think this plan entirely through.</p><p>He knows that Duo sort of has an equal-opportunity approach to his sexuality (which really sort of settled when he’d met Hilde a few months ago), and nothing about the idea of being with a man bothers Heero in the slightest. Heero knows he’s handsome, he knows that people desire him.</p><p>So he didn’t expect Duo to <em>laugh</em>, okay. He didn’t expect him to <em>laugh</em> so fucking loud that there are actual tears coming out of his eyes, to the point where Duo has to get up off the stool and take a few steps in the crowded tiny restaurant.</p><p>“Why do - “ he starts to say, screwing his face up tight, trying to hold it together, before shaking his head, doubling over again, and excusing himself for a moment to laugh some more. Heero is fucking <em>grumpy</em> when Duo finally comes back to the table. “Why do you think that - that I would - oh my god <em>why!</em>” He dissolves into laughter again, and Heero glares.</p><p>“Are you fucking <em>done</em>,” Heero spits, fists tight. </p><p>Duo finally seems to notice that Heero isn’t finding this as funny as he is, and with some herculean effort, manages to pull himself together. “Okay,” he says, wiping his eyes. “Okay. Um. Yeah. Okay. You want me to be your boyfriend. Of course you want me to be your boyfriend.”</p><p>Heero is sure his teeth are showing. “I was told that Relena is...wary of...suitors, I suppose.”</p><p>There is a very pure moment where Duo is actually holding it inside. And then he bursts, like a popped balloon, laughing until he is nearly wheezing, holding the stool so he won’t fall over. “Suitors!” he squeaks. “Fucking - oh my God. Suitors. Heero, I love this. Suitors. This is - a great look for you.”</p><p>“I’m fucking serious,” Heero hisses.</p><p>“I know,” Duo says, hiccupping laughter. “That’s what makes it better.”</p><p>“I have...a plan.”</p><p>“You have - okay, no, okay, I can do this.” Duo takes a quick breath. “You have a plan.”</p><p>“The holiday party next weekend. I can introduce you.”</p><p>Duo grins, but, for the first time, doesn't dissolve into guffaws. “And are we going to have some sort of backstory? It’s been a while since I’ve gone incognito.”</p><p>“I’ll work on it.”</p><p>Duo is still grinning like an idiot. “You’re so lucky I’m your friend.”</p><p>“Well, we’ll have to see about that.”</p><p>Duo rolls his eyes, still grinning, and picks up his burrito.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>This is probably a terrible plan. </p><p>For a hundred different reasons this is a terrible plan, but it is going to work, because it’s...fuck, it is literally all he has.</p><p>Heero comes back to his desk after lunch and finds Dorothy waiting for him, and she makes a very obvious glance at the clock as she does so.</p><p>Bitch.</p><p>He calls her that with some amount of pride.</p><p>“Hey Heero!”</p><p>The cheery voice, with the cheery greeting, catches him off guard.</p><p>“Hey - “ he spins, finding Relena walking towards him, holding some files. She’s wearing the fucking pencil skirt today. He can never keep his head on straight when she wears the fucking pencil skirt. “Hey Relena.”</p><p>“I’m just on my way to drop some things off to marketing for Trowa. God, you’d think that an email would suffice, but Chang Wufei just keeps going on and on about <em>texture.</em> As if I know what that means. But, it’s the holidays, so, happy to oblige.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Heero agrees, stilted. He has to figure out a way to work in the fact that he has a boyfriend now.</p><p>“So, you’re going to the holi—“</p><p>“I have a boyfriend now.”</p><p>Well.</p><p>He can’t tell whether it was the interrupting part or the substance part which throws her off, but regardless, she stands in silence for a moment, staring with her mouth open on a sound. Then she shakes her head, smiling prettily. </p><p>“Oh, that’s - that’s great! I didn’t know you were...dating.”</p><p>“Yes. I have a boyfriend. His name is Duo Maxwell, he works in this office.”</p><p>“Oh, which department?”</p><p>
  <em>Fuck which department?</em>
</p><p>“Um. Sales.”</p><p>“<em>Sales</em>,” Dorothy supplies, from her side of the cubicle, and Heero thinks quickly about murdering her.</p><p>“I’ll be bringing my boyfriend Duo Maxwell with me as my date to the holiday party next weekend.”</p><p>If she is flustered by this information, she’s clearly come around, has processed it all, is comfortable with it – crap, is this about to backfire, <em>is this about to backfire??</em></p><p>“Well, I look forward to meeting him,” she says, and, it certainly does seem like...like her smile <em>is</em> warmer, now, is <em>fonder</em>, almost and...shit, maybe it...maybe he had a chance? Is this working? He’s suddenly realizing he did not come up with impact scenarios for this.</p><p>“You’ve got no fucking chance,” Dorothy says, snide, because Relena has left. </p><p>Heero flips her right the fuck off.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>But, maybe Dorothy was wrong, now, because fuck – <em>fuck</em> – she is coming around his desk <em>more now</em>, surely. Surely she is, because fuck him he keeps a mental tally of course he keeps a mental tally, and her visits to his cubicle increase seventeen percent overnight. She wants to know all about Duo, how long they’ve dated, how they met, all that other bullshit. But once he’s done lying his ass off about that, they just sometimes start <em>talking</em>, and that is basically the best.</p><p>Relena is...witty, and so smart, and she is kind, and she makes him chuckle, sometimes, when he can force himself to relax enough to be able to laugh, and by Thursday they even go and get <em>lunch</em> together, and so Dorothy can shove her obnoxious clock glance right up her ass because it is fucking <em>working</em>.</p><p>“Thanks for lunch, Heero. It’s been a while since I’ve laughed like that.”</p><p>Heero cracks a smile, basically unable to help it, and then he is ruined because she puts her hand over his for a moment, before she goes to walk back to her own office.</p><p>“You are in such deep shit,” is Dorothy’s observation, and Heero flips her two birds before finding his seat again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>See the thing is, he really hadn’t <em>meant</em> to fall in love with Relena Darlian-Peacecraft. It hadn’t really been on his <em>agenda</em>. He’d been working at this company for a few months before he saw her for the first time, walking past him on her way to a meeting, and sure she was hot but a lot of people were hot, and then he got into a fucking tiff with Chang a bit later because <em>Chang</em> overpromised on a piece of software before it was ready and that was a) his own fucking fault, and b) probably not really appropriate grounds for a fistfight, except, he kind of thought Chang didn’t need much of any grounds to have a fistfight, and they both got their asses brought into HR, and the pretty girl he’d seen around the office was suddenly frowning at the two of them, while pulling up their personal files.</p><p>And that was fine. She was diplomatic, personable, empathetic <em>but direct</em>, and very much problem-oriented. She managed to make both Heero and Wufei calm down, which, he didn’t really think many people had the capability to do, so, she got points for that.</p><p>And she was fucking hot, but that was beside the point.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Duo is sort of living for this.</p><p>He makes a point of calling Heero his boyfriend on the workplace chat app at least twice the first week, and on Monday, Relena comes wending over to his desk behind a small mountain of flowers, which comes with a note, which Dorothy reads – <em>out loud –</em> before Relena can walk away.</p><p>
  <em>Thanks for the weekend. Love, D-Dawg</em>
</p><p>Heero has to seethe silently, because, the only fucking thing they did that weekend was go see some shit movie with Hilde’s friends. There are flowers on every available surface of his desk now.</p><p>&lt;<em>Best hundred fifty bucks I ever spent</em>&gt; is the text waiting on Heero’s phone after Relena leaves.</p><p>Heero figures it would be best to begin to poison him <em>after</em> the party.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>See that's the thing with the pull of attraction. It makes you do completely stupid, ridiculous things. Things like putting up with your best friend pretending to be your boyfriend. Things like – seeing that she’s coming for the elevator one time, way back in the beginning, before you even really knew her at all, pulling out your phone and pretending to be engrossed in an email while pressing the <em>hold doors open</em> button, letting go just as she breathlessly jogs inside, smiling broadly at her own good luck for having made it.</p><p>And then actually opening your mouth after the doors close, asking about her weekend.</p><p>She smiles again, still catching her breath, recognizing you (which is a stupid, inane thrill by itself) then rattling off the few things that had occupied her time.</p><p>Maybe that...starts to happen, after.</p><p>After that you know sort of in general when she catches the elevator and maybe it’s not…too…hard…to sit in your car until you see hers pull into the lot, or, you just so happen to…shit. It’s fucking pathetic. But she’s so god damn <em>nice</em>, or something. Is it merely friendly? Maybe it's merely friendly. But more than half the time they both get off on the same floor smiling a little, and isn’t that – fuck – isn’t that something? Isn’t that a god damn <em>thing?</em></p><p>That was over a year and a half ago, the starting of it all, and in those eighteen-something months he’s had the misfortune to help her carry something up the stairs twice, witness three of her seminars on professional and respectful workplace behavior, and share the same elevator with such alarming regularity that she once brought him a coffee on his birthday.</p><p>
  <em>“How did you – “</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s in your file,” she shrugs, and Heero is fucking…flustered.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Which is how he ends up holding hands with a delighted Duo Maxwell, walking into the corporate holiday party at the fucking closest restaurant with a banquet hall, or something, preparing to put up with Duo’s bullshit all night.</p><p>“Heero-kins,” Duo coos, even though no one nearby is paying attention to them. “Heero-kins, do please help me doff my coat, Heero-kins.”</p><p>“Yeah you can cut that the fuck out.”</p><p>Duo is unperturbed. “I spent two whole hours deciding what your nickname was going to be, <em>Heero-kins</em>. Don’t stop me now, please.” Duo’s grinning, like he and Hilde have been laughing at him for a fucking solid two weeks, and Heero wants to punch him.</p><p>“Just – fuck. Whatever.” He helps rip off Duo’s freaking coat and brings both of them to the coat check. When he turns, Duo is grinning and offering him a wink.</p><p>Heero glares. “I’m guessing this is the sort of charm that won over…your uh…” <em>shit </em>this is going to be a whole thing, not mentioning Hilde, whom he knows decently well by now, “your last…partner.”</p><p>“H is quite fond of my wink, yes,” he says, adding in another for flair, and Heero clenches his jaw.</p><p>“I need a fucking drink,” Heero mutters, and he grabs Duo's hand and takes him straight to the bar.</p><p>He glances at the archway to the bathrooms and sees mistletoe hanging there on purpose, like a taunting little landmine.</p><p>It's going to be a long night.</p><p> </p><p>Heero and Duo are chatting, or rather, Duo is chatting and Heero is half-listening, eyes scanning the party just to make sure she doesn’t <em>sneak up on him</em>, or some bullshit, when he spies – the absolute worst person he could possibly see, and coming straight for them.</p><p>“<em>Shit</em>,” Heero mutters, emphatic, and it cuts Duo off mid-sentence as Heero twists back to the bar and darts for his drink.</p><p>“She’s here? Already?”</p><p>“No it’s – <em>fuck.</em> Fuck. Act natural.”</p><p>“Heero,” Duo’s grinning, his lips teasing. “Act—“</p><p>“So this must be the famous boyfriend!” a voice calls out, and Heero has to grit his teeth again to avoid spitting another expletive as he turns back around.</p><p>“Hello Dorothy,” he grounds out.</p><p>Duo glances between them.</p><p>“Oh <em>you’re</em> Dorothy!” he shouts, ecstatic, shoving out his hand. “I’m Duo. Duo Maxwell. I’m Duo Maxwell Heero’s boyfriend.”</p><p>“Yes,” she says, shaking it. “So I’ve heard.”</p><p>Duo is grinning, delighted, a cat with the fucking canary. Heero tends to keep his bullshit to himself, prefers to keep his work <em>at work</em> kind of shit, but he’s gotten drunk on Duo’s couch on more than one occasion and bitched about his cubicle mate a hundred times. The only reason they don’t know each other already is that Duo is expressly forbidden to visit Heero’s part of the office while they’re both working. For mostly this reason.</p><p>Dorothy already has her drink, so she sips it, looking Duo over. Heero makes a point of leaning closer to his beloved boyfriend.</p><p>“So, this has been going on long?”</p><p>“Yes,” Heero says, too quick, and he feels Duo shift at his side.</p><p>“Going on four months with my sugar pie!” Duo croons, throwing his hand over Heero’s shoulders. Heero is exposing his teeth in something trying to be a smile.</p><p>Dorothy sneers.</p><p>“Whatever,” she says, and she disappears into the crowd. Heero’s gaze narrows at her retreating back.</p><p>“She’s amazing,” Duo is saying, pointing his beer. “Seriously, you do not do her credit.”</p><p>“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Heero grouses, and he turns back towards the bar.</p><p> </p><p>They have to engage a few more coworkers, including some of Duo’s coworkers in sales. The few that know about Hilde already are buddies enough to be in on the plot, and the few that don’t know about Hilde no one feels any guilt in deceiving.</p><p>They’re chatting with Trowa now; Trowa, whose boyfriend owns the fucking company Trowa, who works in the design department out of a luxury of actually enjoying the work, who makes a hobby of pissing off Chang Wufei at least twice a month just because he can definitely get away with it, and also because it’s way too fucking easy.</p><p>“And you two are…dating,” Trowa’s saying, and Heero sees Duo grin with his entire fucking face at the question.</p><p>“Yup,” Duo answers, almost <em>proud</em>. He takes a moment to pat Heero’s butt, because it’s turned towards him as Heero drinks over the bar, keeping one eye on the door. He turns back around with what he hopes is an affectionate sort of annoyance.</p><p>Probably not.</p><p>“But I thought—“ Trowa starts to say, before stopping himself. His lips tighten. “Hm.”</p><p>“What,” Heero says.</p><p>“Well it’s just—“ Trowa clearly has some sort of thought running through his head, some sort of…something, and he doesn’t feel like sharing. Heero feels anger rising in his gut.</p><p>“<em>What</em>,” he says again.</p><p>“Nothing,” Trowa says, mysteriously, and he takes a sip of his drink as Heero fights down the urge to throttle something.</p><p>God he’s so fucking tense.</p><p>“So no Quatre tonight?” Duo interjects, easily breaking the tension, taking a sip of his drink. Trowa shakes his head.</p><p>“He’s in London. My flight’s in about five hours.”</p><p>Duo whistles.</p><p>“Bring me back some tea and crumpets,” he says, and Trowa laughs, soft.</p><p>Their conversation continues, but Heero stops paying attention, curling himself instead over the bar and his drink.</p><p>He knows, with a second, ingrained sense, that she will arrive soon. The hairs at the back of his neck are raised, he feels antsy and nervous.</p><p>And then Duo’s soft, almost sympathetic sort of voice cuts through to the auditory center of his brain.</p><p>“Boy, are you in some real shit,” Duo murmurs, and Heero’s head snaps up. He spins, and he sees her, somewhat instantly, even from half a room away. Her hair is down, and she’s wearing a dress, something he’s never seen before. It’s black and cut above the knee and looks like it’s made of velvet and he is so, totally, fucked.</p><p>She’s talking to someone, but she sees him too, somehow, making eye contact even though she doesn’t break her conversation. She manages to convey a <em>hey, I’ll be there in a minute</em> vibe, with just a small smile and nod, and Heero feels his heart beating faster for no god damn good reason.</p><p>“Shit,” he says, twisting back towards the bar, grabbing his drink, gulping it down. He’s already waving down the bartender for another by the time his glass hits the wood again.</p><p>Duo is trying really hard not to laugh.</p><p>“Shut <em>up</em>,” Heero seethes, cutting him a glance. And then because Trowa is still right there: “Darling.”</p><p>“Oh my fucking god,” Duo laughs, as silently as possible, and he finishes his drink as well.</p><p>“Hm,” is Trowa’s only observation, as he looks into his drink, and takes a sip.</p><p>“Relena owes him money,” Duo winks, like he’s not even trying, or something, and Heero is just about to snap at him to fucking him <em>love him up already</em>, when Relena is suddenly right there.</p><p>“Hey, I thought I saw you,” her voice says, the tones sliding through their small group, all soft and melodic and wonderful, and Heero steels himself for a fucking disaster. He tightens his lips, and regards her up close.</p><p>She’s wearing different make-up too, and his favorite fucking perfume. He’s going to die. That’s all it is. He’s just going to die.</p><p>“Hey,” he says, basically unable to move.</p><p>“Hi I’m Duo!” Duo cheerfully breaks in, swooping his hand for introduction. “Duo Maxwell. Heero’s boyfriend. Heero's boyfriend Duo Maxwell.” Relena takes it with a large smile.</p><p>“Yes!” she’s saying. “I thought you must be! Heero’s told me so much about you.”</p><p>“He <em>has!</em>” Duo calls out, like an indulgent sort of teasing. “That’s <em>just</em> like Heero, isn’t it. Always going blah blah blah about his love life.”</p><p>Heero is going to murder his boyfriend Duo Maxwell.</p><p>“I’m just so glad he’s brought you,” she goes on, still smiling. “It means that Heero has actually <em>come</em> to this party as well.”</p><p>“I—“ Heero starts to say, wanting to salvage something, wanting to keep his mind busy so he won’t be reviewing all the ways to kill a man in a public space– “Yes. I…came.”</p><p>“You weren’t at last year’s party,” she points out, and Heero feels that sense of fluster again.</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“He was with me,” Duo says, on a dramatic sigh. “What was that darling, Aspen? Or <em>Bern</em>.”</p><p>Heero clenches his jaw so tight he’s going to need fucking dental surgery.</p><p>“Um. As…pen.”</p><p>“That’s <em>right</em>,” Duo agrees, and he puts his arm around Heero’s waist. “Heero is just so thoughtful. A romantic weekend away, just the two of us.”</p><p>“I thought,” Relena is saying, and she’s trying to be polite, and she’s good at it, but clearly she’s not a fucking idiot, “I thought you guys had only been dating a few months.”</p><p>“Oh yes!” Duo goes on. “Well, yes. We <em>rekindled</em> just a few months ago. Last Christmas was mostly for – fucking each other’s brains out, wasn’t it Heero? Sweetie? Wasn’t it just for that?”</p><p>He’s going to use this cocktail napkin. He’s going to shove it into Duo’s mouth, all the way back until he’s gagging. Then it’s the garnish spear. That’s going into each one of Duo’s eyeballs. And then he’ll start to make the man feel real pain.</p><p>There’s a pointed <em>cough</em> from Trowa.</p><p>“Yup,” Heero manages to squeeze out of his mouth.</p><p>Relena closes her mouth again, looking genuinely pleased for them, nonplussed by Duo’s descriptive imagery. “Well, just, let me know when to date the paperwork,” she says, with a smile. “Heero, Duo, so nice to see you. And Trowa,” she smiles, kind. “I just see someone else I have to talk to for a moment, okay? Save me a drink.”</p><p>It’s the most…delicate of exits, though, truly, she does go directly to talk to someone Heero vaguely recognizes.</p><p>“I’m going to murder you,” Heero mutters to Duo under his breath, his only balm the drink that has been delivered since his back was turned. It takes concerted effort not to smash the glass into Duo’s beautiful hair.</p><p>“Not until the end of the night,” Duo winks, clicking his tongue, and he waves down the bartender for a drink of his own.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Heero’s on his third cocktail, feeling the stirrings of something like non-sobriety (which is not a word), and considering the total shit experience of his life when she finds him again. He’s brooding quite effectively while Duo went to go stuff his face in the buffet line, in a quiet space by the windows. There’s a gentle snowfall outside, but it won’t get cold enough tonight for the roads to ice.</p><p>“Hey,” comes the voice to his side, and Heero turns, eyebrow raised, because he’s surprised.</p><p>She shouldn’t be allowed to be this close to him, honestly. It’s fucking unfair.</p><p>“Hey,” he says back, shifting his weight.</p><p>“Where’s Duo?”</p><p>He sighs. “Stuffing his face in the buffet,” he admits. It’s Duo’s last meal, he wants to add, except god damn it, Relena is talking to him, and they’re alone. He turns to face her fully.</p><p>The lights are dimmer here, but only slightly. The music is getting steadily louder, dinner winding down, drinking and dancing winding up.</p><p>“He seems really nice,” she says, and Heero takes another sip of his drink, before realizing his glass is empty.</p><p>“He’s great,” he says, flat, glaring at the bottom of his glass. He glances up, gauging how far to the nearest bar.</p><p>“I’m – so glad you’ve found someone, Heero,” she says, and Heero’s heart twists and squeezes at the sincerity in her voice.</p><p>“Yeah,” he says. “Definitely. You want a drink?”</p><p>“God I thought you’d never ask,” she says all in a rush, and the twisting in his chest draws in a twist of his whole belly as well, because fuck he finds her so fucking charming. He forces his shoulders down, letting out a breath. Fuck. No. This is Relena, and she’s <em>talking to him. </em>She freaking <em>sought him out. </em>Ramifications? He’ll think of those later. Heero braces himself, and he extends a hand, gesturing her ahead.</p><p> </p><p>They go to the nearest bar, the one that’s by the back doors; it’s the least crowded, farthest from the dance floor. <em>Nearest restaurant with a banquet hall</em> was always probably not giving them enough credit, because, their building is in a nice part of town, and is only close to <em>nice</em> restaurants with banquet halls. There’s a fucking garden out back, decorated with twinkle lights. The whole inside of this place has been decorated with garlands of evergreen and bands of ribbon and tons of those twinkly little lights that soften everyone’s features. God damn holidays.</p><p>They get their drinks and fall into the familiar rhythm of conversation, and to Heero’s complete and utter destruction, their exchange stretches past the perfunctory four minutes of whatever. They talk about current projects, then plans for the coming week (Heero mostly listens here) and slowly Heero feels himself start to relax, and then finally – to warm. He starts to remember that this, that talking to her, was his whole goal the whole time. That all he was really hoping was not to scare her off, or something, just bathe in her presence like some fat baby in a fountain. And it’s working. Shit, this is <em>Relena</em>. And she’s talking to him.</p><p>“Heero! There you are!”</p><p>Heero’s head jerks around, finding the source of the voice, and he realizes now he should have taken this conversation outside if he could’ve managed it. Outside, or, to another continent, maybe.</p><p>“Duo!” Relena breaks off her sentence to greet him, smiling large. Her grin softens, more conspiratorial now. “Oh gosh. Thank you for letting me steal him.”</p><p>“No no,” Duo says, holding up a hand with a lazy smile, “go right ahead. I just came to give my sweetheart a big old <em>kiss</em> before I hit up the dance floor.”</p><p>“Duo.”</p><p>“My little elf on the shelf.”</p><p>"<em>Duo."</em></p><p><em>"</em>Little muffin man."</p><p>“Duo what the fuck is on your head.”</p><p>Duo points. He’s found some sort of headband, with a piece of greenery tied to a stick sticking straight up. “It’s mistletoe you goon! Someone’s handing them out and <em>of course</em> I needed one for my little – my little – “ he looks down at him. “My little babushka-boo.”</p><p>The glass Heero’s holding is real crystal then. Because it’s not breaking.</p><p>Heero stands stock still as Duo bends over, the mistletoe dangling, and as Duo plants a giant, wet, <em>kiss</em> right on his stock-still cheek.</p><p>His murderous intent must be written clearly on his face, because Duo’s grin is down near <em>challenging</em> as he backs up, already starting to samba a little.</p><p>“Nice to see you again Relena. Keep him company until I get back, okay!”</p><p>“Okay!” she calls after him, flapping a hand genially. The temperature between them drops steadily the farther away Duo gets.</p><p>“That,” Relena says, pointing a bit. “Is going to derail my plans for next week.”</p><p>“What, the mistletoe?”</p><p>“HR doesn’t tend to get invited to company parties often,” she sighs, somewhat ruefully. “Though honestly you’d think the sexual assault would take care of that for everyone already.”</p><p>Heero can’t tell whether it’s a joke, so, he doesn’t laugh. <em>Is that it? </em>Is that why they haven’t been approached, why Relena is tolerating his company going on however long they’ve been at this bar? His drink it almost gone.</p><p>Relena’s biting her lower lip from the inside, mindful of her lipstick, peering after Duo’s exit path.</p><p>“Hey,” she murmurs. “You wanna go outside?”</p><p> </p><p>They refill their drinks and grab their coats and head back out to the gardens, Relena holding on to Heero’s upper arm as they move so she won’t slip on any hidden ice. Heero would tell her it's not cold enough to ice except he’s not a fucking idiot.</p><p>They find a bench, and Relena dusts off some of the snow with one hand, deeming it passable for sitting, taking one half. Heero sits next to her. Their breaths are visible in the night air.</p><p>“Will it be a problem if Duo can’t find you out here?” she asks, just after they’ve settled. The décor has continued out here, her face is lit with a golden glow.</p><p>“No,” he says too quickly, and Relena nods.</p><p>“I um,” she starts to say. She shakes her head, wets her lips, starts again, trying to force a smile. “I might be. Um, I might not be your coworker, for very much longer.”</p><p>The words take a moment to permeate.</p><p>
  <em>What?</em>
</p><p>“What?” he asks.</p><p>Relena isn’t looking at him. “It’s – I’m not actually transferring, or anything. Or maybe I am I don’t really know. No, actually, I don’t know anything. It’s just – “ He’s never seen her so flustered, like this, never seen her have so much difficulty speaking. “It’s – Sally.” She turns to him, finally, finally sustaining eye contact. “She wants me to apply for upper management.”</p><p>The words drop through him, pinging thoughts up to his brain. <em>Upper…upper management?</em> What would – what would that mean?</p><p>“It means so much more responsibility, obviously,” Relena continues, answering his unspoken question. “I couldn’t even tell you how much more work is involved.” <em>Sally,</em> as in, <em>Vice President Sally Po</em>. “And travel, and direct reports, and, and – “ She expels a breath, harsh, like she’s forcing everything out in the open. “It just – it means that – “ She’s looking at him again, and her brow is pinched. “It means that…I don’t know if we could be friends, anymore.”</p><p>Heero just can’t seem to think straight. His thoughts bounce around, one skipping to the next. Upper management? It would suit her, of course it would suit her. But surely that would make her – his boss somehow? Is that what she’s saying? They’d been sort of tiptoeing through this friendship, which, he’s just realizing has been so delicate from the start, has been such a balance of <em>I have access to your social security number</em> and <em>I went kayaking last weekend and it was okay.</em> Huh.</p><p>Heero huffs some sort of acknowledgement, because, he’s overdue to show some sort of reaction, and Relena sighs at his side.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“You’d be good at it,” he finally adds, and Relena seems to regard him sadly.</p><p>“Yeah,” she agrees.</p><p>They sit like that for another few moments, the snow falling down, the distant sounds of music coming through the cracked windows.</p><p>“So Duo, huh?” she says, forcibly bright. “That – I mean – I don’t think I ever mentioned how great it is that – well – that you – that you found someone, is what I’m trying to say. It’s – it’s really good, that you found someone.”</p><p>Heero can barely hear her. <em>I don’t know if we could be friends, anymore</em>, is still ringing through him. He gets the sudden feeling that, he’s way too late, or something.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They go back inside, because they’re both getting cold, Relena shivering so much she starts leaning against his shoulder for warmth, and Heero does the thing of putting his arm around her as they walk back, which she allows because he has a boyfriend, and he does because he hates himself.</p><p>The gaiety is in full swing, and, it takes two glances to be sure, but Duo is leading the conga line, mistletoe bobbing.</p><p>They get rid of their coats and then both stand just inside the doorway for a moment, taking it in, watching the merriment from a room away, and Relena drains the rest of her glass.</p><p>“Well, I guess I should make an appearance on the dance floor,” she says, and she gives him a brief, piercing look. Heero looks back at her, feeling miserable down to the soles of his shoes, having no fucking idea what to say to her.</p><p>“Okay,” he goes with, and her lips tighten, and she nods, and walks away.</p><p>Heero watches her; watches as she drops her glass on a nearby table with some others, how she stands up straighter the closer she gets to the revelers. She’s smiling broadly by the time someone stops her, asking for a dance.</p><p>“You’re kind of an idiot, you know that?”</p><p>Heero at first doesn’t realize that the voice is for him, but then the words permeate, and he turns, and finds Trowa lounging against a bar-height table.</p><p>“What?” Heero says.</p><p>Trowa swirls his glass, the corner of his lip quirking up. He takes a quick sip, drops the glass, puts his hands in his pockets so he can move to stand beside beside Heero.</p><p>“An idiot,” he repeats.</p><p>Heero has always liked Trowa, more or less. They don’t interact much, but, the few times they have, he’s proven to be capable, intelligent, hard working. He also doesn’t like small talk, so, they were probably always destined to be friend…ly.</p><p>Heero frowns. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p>Trowa snorts.</p><p>They’re standing side by side, watching the dance floor; watching Duo grab Relena and start aggressively waltzing. Relena laughs.</p><p>“Quatre – ” it’s always slightly unnerving to hear your boss’s boss’s boss’s name just thrown out like a normal thing, “— did you know that he and Relena are friends?”</p><p>Heero tilts his head in Trowa’s direction. Did he know? …No.</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“So…they’re friends.” He turns to meet Heero’s stare. “And they talk.”</p><p>Heero frowns. Where the hell is Barton going with this? Trowa turns his gaze to the dance floor.</p><p>“It turns out that about eighteen months ago she started to develop quite the crush on a coworker.” The hairs on the back of Heero’s forearms go straight up. What? “But,” he spares Heero a glance, “being such a respectful member of the <em>human resources</em> team, not to mention, very familiar with the <em>inter-fraternization policy</em>, she made herself hold off."</p><p>...What?</p><p>"You see," he continues, "she thought, <em>sometimes</em>, not very often but sometimes, that this crush might like her back. But she’d seen so many work relationships totally implode that it scared her off. Why the hell would she have a chance with him, anyway, she thought? He was handsome and smart and blah blah blah. No big deal. 

</p>
<p>"And then two weeks ago, her crush gets a boyfriend.”</p><p>Heero’s not…breathing.</p><p>He’s not breathing, anymore, because his body has quite literally forgotten how.</p><p>Trowa gauges whether he’s going to actually implode, then goes on.</p><p>“He got a boyfriend, and she was completely devastated, enough to call one of her very best friends to drunkenly sob into the phone about how unfair it all was, how this is all because she was a phony bitch in prep school and cheated on a test once in primary school, and – “ Trowa’s grinning, almost laughing to himself, and Heero’s going to throttle him or kick him or jump into traffic if he doesn’t start talking again, “ – and then she realizes, no, it’s okay. She’s been so wrapped up in terror beause she likes him so much that now she realizes she can like him up close, because, she doesn’t have to worry about the human resources policy anymore. He has a boyfriend. He’s not interested in her. She can torture herself and see his <em>perfect nose </em>up close.”</p><p>His – his <em>nose?</em> Shit. Shit. Whatever. Whatever. His brain is short-circuiting, it’s a fucking disaster, because he can’t even think, he can’t even <em>think</em>.</p><p>“<em>Bullshit</em>,” Heero swears, and there is no breath at all to support his words.</p><p>Trowa laughs quietly.</p><p>“You don’t have long, though. He’s – Quatre – he’s considering retirement. And he’s grooming Relena to take over, maybe.”</p><p>
  <em>What?</em>
</p><p>Heero’s eyes are open so wide, he barely sees the way Trowa chuckles again.</p><p>But he feels it when Trowa drops a hand onto Heero’s shoulder. “I need to catch a flight.” His gaze softens, somehow. “Happy holidays, Heero.”</p><p>Trowa starts walking away, back towards the exit. Heero finally comes back to his body and turns, sharp.</p><p>“Hey,” he shouts, and Trowa turns. There’s no one around, really. Everyone is dancing or getting drunk or who the fuck knows. “Why’re you,” Heero has to swallow. “Why’re you telling me this.”</p><p>Trowa grins with half his mouth.</p><p>“Because she shouldn’t have to do it alone,” he says, and a hundred thoughts run through Heero’s head, chief among them <em>I have a boyfriend</em> even when he doesn’t, or <em>you’re out of your fucking mind</em> except it would ruin his whole god damn life if Trowa was making this up.</p><p>Trowa turns back around, walking towards the coat check, and Heero sees one of those mistletoe headbands sticking out of his back pocket.</p><p>He doesn’t even have it in him to laugh.</p><p>Heero turns back towards the dance floor, sees Relena on the arms of Dorothy, smiling a controlled, polite sort of smile, as Dorothy turns her around and around. The song ends and they’re breaking apart, but someone else is right behind her, asking Relena for the next one, and she gamely accepts their offer.</p><p>Jealousy spikes through him at the sight: sudden, cold, unwelcome, and, and.</p><p>What the actual fuck is going on with his life.</p><p>He goes back to the bar and slams back another drink, because of course he does, and he’s so wired he’s not even feeling drunk, not even a little bit, definitely not drunk enough for Duo to stumble up to him and throw an arm over his shoulders and nuzzle into his cheek with a “<em>there’s santa’s little helper</em>,” which, he grimaces, but Duo is also his best friend, so.</p><p>“Duo,” he says quick, turning even quicker, and Duo springs back, drunk but alert. “<em>Duo</em>,” he says again, matter-of-fact, “she’s in love with me. Maybe. Shit. Okay she <em>might</em> be in love with me.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“What the fuck am I supposed to do.”</p><p>Duo is gazing at him, bleary, unfocused. Heero is glad his friend hadn’t driven, and that he doesn’t have to confiscate his keys.</p><p>“I dunno,” Duo says, slurring a bit. “What you think I'm some sort of love expert? I'm - I'm dating <em>you</em> after all." It's a dig, one that Heero barely hears over the noise in his head. Duo hiccups. "I dunno talk to her? Pretty sure you’re just supposed to talk to her.”</p><p>That rolls through him. Talk? Talk. Yeah. Of course. “<em>Of course,”</em> he mutters to himself, and then he takes a closer look at Duo.</p><p>“Duo,” he says, grabbing Duo’s face in his hands. “Thank you.” He plants a quick, immediate kiss on his face. “Now go call a cab.”</p><p>He pushes off Duo, turning to the dance floor, scanning and scanning and scanning for Relena. He keeps hearing Trowa’s voice in his head. <em>And then two weeks ago, her crush gets a boyfriend.</em></p><p>There’s something wrong with him. He walks right through the dance floor, people grabbing at him, trying to draw him in, but he’s immune. Where did she go? She was <em>right here.</em></p><p>He sees her.</p><p>She’s laughing and smiling near the doors, coat folded over her arms. She was just – she was going to leave? Just like that? <em>Shit</em>.</p><p>He walks right up to her.</p><p>“We need to talk.”</p><p>“Heero,” she gasps, and Heero barely passes a glance at the person she was talking to before he’s just not even thinking – he just grabs her arm, tugging her towards the doors. “<em>Heero!</em>” she says again, almost laughing this time, as he takes her out the doors, into the freezing night air. The blast of cold feels amazing on flushed skin. “<em>Heero</em>,” she says again, and Heero’s jaw is clenched, and he heads for the gardens, darting his gaze over everything, making sure they’re alone. No one’s here.</p><p>He drops her arm, turns to her, and has to ball his hands into fists to stop himself from doing something truly reckless.</p><p>“Heero, what’s going on?” she asks, bewildered, not totally mad, holding her jacket tight to her abdomen.</p><p>What <em>is </em>going on?</p><p><em>Talk to her</em>.</p><p>“Trowa left.”</p><p>She’s frowning a little now, like she’s not sure if he’s drunk or not.</p><p>“He – he left. And – shit. Okay.” Heero steels himself. He can do this. He can <em>fucking do this.</em> “I’m not – “ he <em>cannot fucking do this</em><em>.</em> “Duo and I – we’re not – shit. Okay. We’re not…actually…dating.”</p><p>The silence that stretches between them is ringing.</p><p>“I’m sorry, what?”</p><p><em>Shit</em>, this is a fucking mess. Heero digs a hand through his hair. “He’s not my boyfriend. He’s never been my boyfriend. I – I – “ Okay. He <em>definitely </em>hasn’t thought this through. For one, he’s been lying to Relena for two weeks. For another, he’s been abusing his friendship with Duo, in a way that feels problematic, now. And for another – <em>fuck what was he actually thinking?</em></p><p>Looking up at her is a mistake. He tries to stand up straighter, to accept the full brunt of his actions. “Dorothy told me you’d never start talking to me unless I had a significant other. I – I think I – I think I believed her.”</p><p>Relena blinks. She blinks again, tilting her head. “Wait, Dorothy…Catalonia?”</p><p>Heero nods, and tries to take a breath.</p><p>What…a fucking…mess.</p><p>“Heero,” she starts to say. “I really don’t know what this means.”</p><p>Heero shows his teeth, grimacing. “It means – it means that – “ could he even say it? No. “I just…the person I want to date…is you.”</p><p>Realization dawns on her face, each feature opening so slowly in kind. And then her shoulders drop, hear head tilts back, and her eyes flutter closed.</p><p>“<em>Heero,</em>” she breathes, and he panics.</p><p>“Which isn’t – we don’t need to – shit – it was just – Trowa he – he had some idea that – “ he realizes he is doing more damage than good, and stops talking. “Well.”</p><p>“You…you want to date me?”</p><p>Heero drags his hand down his face. “I really fucking do.”</p><p>This is the end, he’s sure.</p><p>This is it, this is where she tells him that Trowa is totally full of shit, that he has another person to kill tonight which is going to be difficult considering Trowa’s already left for the airport, and, and, and.</p><p>“Well,” she says, and he sees her wet her lips. “I can see how that is going to be a problem.”</p><p>The world might as well crumble around him. He stands completely still, just waiting for the drop.</p><p>“Because I have a whole lot of paperwork to start.”</p><p>Heero definitely hasn’t finished processing what she’s said, definitely under no circumstances is he close to understanding, when Relena tips forward, her arms going wide, then around him; this whole graceful, ridiculous arc of her body towards his. He doesn’t even know what’s happening when she kisses him, chaste, soft, pliant, one of her hands on his neck.</p><p><em>On his neck</em> –</p><p>“<em>Relena</em>,” he whispers, and his eyes close, and he wraps his arms around her lower back, and then he’s kissing her, kissing in a way he literally never thought was possible, because she’s kissing him back, and his mind is going to explode outside of a freaking <em>banquet hall.</em></p><p>“<em>Ah he – ah <strong>hem</strong></em>,” a loud voice says, and Heero manages to break apart, but not let her go. He physically can’t, right now.</p><p>He turns, and finds…and finds <em>Duo</em>, coat draped over his head like a blanket, looking mock-stricken.</p><p>“You <em>dastardly…mage</em>,” he exclaims, and Heero rolls his eyes.</p><p>“Duo, she knows.”</p><p>“You – you grinch!” Duo crows, dropping the coat onto his shoulders. “I <em>trusted you</em>, and at the holidays no less! My mother will be –“</p><p>“<em>Duo</em>,” Heero stresses, his jaw tightening again. He’s pretty sure Relena’s lipstick is all over his face and he couldn’t give a single shit.</p><p>Hey wait.</p><p>Relena’s lipstick is all over his face.</p><p>A surreal sort of grin spreads across his lips.</p><p>“Go home Duo,” he says, and Duo offers a wild little salute, sticking out his tongue.</p><p>“Already called a cab. Though you’re welcome to share, Relena. I’m headed to Hilde’s, pretty sure she’d love to meet you – “</p><p>“Don’t ask,” Heero warns her, his hands tightening on her waist.</p><p>Relena is laughing into his shoulder.</p><p>“I can’t believe I <em>believed</em> that, you – “ she laughs again.</p><p>“What,” Heero says, watching Duo make crude gestures as he walks backwards into foliage. He’s still smiling, though, and he flips Duo a lazy bird. “You don’t think we make a good couple?”</p><p>“I think that,” she says, pulling her head back, looking up at him in the dim lights. “I think that I need to take you home and think about this. Immediately.”</p><p>Warmth flashes under Heero’s skin.</p><p>“Shit,” he swears, and he ducks down for another kiss. “We might want to share Duo’s cab after all.”</p><p>“I have a driver,” she murmurs against his lips. “It’s – long story. And more importantly, I have been wanting to do…this…all night.”</p><p>Heero’s staring at her face, so he doesn’t immediately notice when she moves her arms, shaking them from under her coat, and something slides into his hair. It stretches over his crown from one ear to the other, and a glance up confirms what he suspected.</p><p>“Fucking mistletoe,” he swears, and Relena laughs.</p><p>“Happy holidays, Heero,” she murmurs, and she pulls him back down for another kiss.</p>
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